From Truffles to Popcorn

Per Se was life changing. Zagat got it right with the exclamation that it is “in a class all its own.” Ouest was a great post-Per Se meal—easing my transition back into the real world of food with a crispy piece of sturgeon over mushroom and edamame risotto followed by a tangy orange cheesecake. Delicious. Nothing will ever compare to the fifteen course mind-blowing, five hour extravaganza, complete with kitchen tour, several bottles of wine, and delicacies ranging from caviar to lobster to butter soaked morels—but Ouest at least cushioned my palate from what awaited back at school (namely, Ollie’s). There, my friends, for the sake of brevity and moving on to current events, was a summary of what may have been the two most culinary orgasmic days of my life.

Fast forward: My job. Mission: Figure out some semblance of self-control so that the constant flow of recipe testing, popcorn tastings, and brownie contests does not cause immediate and premature heart attack. Working at a food magazine is, in fact, everything I dreamed it could be in terms of the serious level of taste bud overload. A recap of my last two days on the job will give you a clear picture:
* Wednesday: Eat my yogurt and granola bar when I first wake up, so that I can last until 12, which is the approximate time that the first recipe wafts alluringly out of the kitchen. On cue, a buttery tagliatelle pasta with flank steak appears, followed by the pumpkin and cream cheese frosting cookie cake whoopee pies (being tested for the second time this week, so obviously I had to taste for the difference). An asparagus salad with onions and orange slices appears, not as a test, merely as an afternoon snack for those of us lucky enough (or crafty enough) to find themselves “conveniently” chopping something in the kitchen. Soon after, the interns embark on a mission to pick up lamb gyros in Queens, from the vendor who won the “Vendy Award” in 2006. I try one while I am there, for the sake of research—it is, indeed, heaven in a gyro. We deliver the gyros to the test kitchen where they will taste and prod the poor lamb (or mystery meat as I heard them unfortunately claim) until they figure out exactly what spices make it so damn good. After picking up a few last groceries for the kitchen, the clock is fast approaching 6 and I hurry to call and get a product sent in for a photo shoot on Friday. Eventually, I head off to dance, musing about the delicious day I just had.
* Today: Again, for the sake of brevity—I have just one thing to say: Popcorn taste test day. Thirty different popcorns. Several appalling flavors. Nausea. My whole day was spent preparing for this (“No I can’t order that for lunch! It’s popcorn day! Have to save up!). At the moment, all I am left with is a severe I Can’t Believe its Not Butter hangover and a desire to never touch a kernel of popped corn ever again. Such are the pitfalls of life at a food magazine.